General

Control

I play computer solitaire. A lot. I started playing solitaire when I wrote a weekly column.  I found it relaxed my brain just enough to let the ideas I had roaming around take root and form themselves into something I could write about.  Some people fold laundry or wash dishes (by hand, of course, or it defeats the purpose).  I came upon solitaire as the almost mindless activity to cook writing ideas.  My hands are engaged and minimal brain activity is required.  I've been using this technique for years now, trying to avoid any sense of competition with myself, or the game, for higher scores.   ( I do confess, I have at times succumbed to the, shall I say, addictive quality of the game, but that is another matter.)

Yesterday morning, going through my usual routine of coffee, dog on the lap, feet on the desk and reading my email and the NYTimes e-newspaper, I started my next task (don't laugh) of pulling up solitaire to get my brain in the mood for writing.  But, lo and behold!  e gads! somehow the computer decided to switch me from the easy paced, who cares what the score is, standard game to the Las Vegas version, which has a totally different scoring system, and, worse and worser! it takes away the points you have earned if you are not quick enough to add to the score.  No lolly-gagging in this cruel version.  I'd go along at my usual slow pace, because, after all this is a device to help relax my brain, not engage it in Olympic style competition.  I became agitated.  A call to my husband/computer guru resulted in me losing most of my points during the course of the conversation.  What the......

So, then it got more interesting.  He, the guru, sent me an email while we were conversing.  I opened the email and a click here and there, and voila! I had given over control of my laptop to my husband who at the time was several miles away.  He somehow (magically, I believe) wrests control of the aberrant solitaire game, waves his magic wand over the hidden waves of whatever technological wonders that makes this thing work and returns my lazy paced, who cares what the score is game to my laptop.

Yes, I was relieved.  But..... How did the game just decide to switch to the Las Vegas scoring without me knowing?   How did I lose whatever illusion of control I had over my humble laptop when my husband could just extend his reach 35 miles and fix it?  And then, when I got up from my desk chair to make another cup of coffee, my darling Frankie, (he's my small dog, in case you were wondering) hops into my seat.  Control, huh.  The ultimate illusion.

Gathering Chi--- Date and Place

Anyone interested in taking a wonderful class to gather the energy to write?  I'll copy and paste Robin's note and if you are in the Dallas area on Sept. 19, please consider joining us----

My tai chi teacher is so excited I may have to tie him to a chair.  He wants to meet writers.  He thinks we are interesting people.  So he's proposed Sept. 19th in his school in Richardson.  Meet at 10 a.m. for lecture and practice of a short version of our form, then lunch and discussion, more review and questions, ending about 3:00 p.m. Those who want to channel the present energy can gather at my house for a writing session.  Cost about $90.

Julie, this is a fantastic opportunity.  He is a direct line descendant from China's third great tai chi master.  Remember how much trouble this was to describe for the Mayborn essay?  But that's correct.  After 8 years of study I can count on my hands the number of times I've been allowed to see him teach like this.  I hope it goes over well and lots of folks sign up."

If you would like to attend please contact Robin at:robinyaklin@sbcglobal.net

Hope to meet you there

Tracks

Cold wind pushes against me as I walk through the canyons of lower Manhattan to the subway, tears fill my eyes, leak down my cheek.  Down the hole I go.  And wait.  Subways in the middle of the day are strange and ugly places. The smell of garbage and urine, the sound of rats scurrying under the platform, and the fine black soot that covers the rails and hovers in the air filling my nostrils and coating my lungs seem less personal in the crush of rush hour. The air is heavy with the cast off dust of commuters that have made this descent into post-modern Hades morning and evening for years.  Vertigo warns me while I straddle a tentative foot over the faded yellow line, that I am close, too close to falling into the dark ugliness that I submit to every day to carry out what has become the routine of my life.  I am almost alone.  A man in an oversized stained tan parka sits on a bench under the tile letters proclaiming this destination: Broad Street. Enter by the narrow gate, for the road to perdition is broad. These words come unbidden and startle me. I stand far enough away from him to be able to run up the stairs if he stirs, but not so far as to be rude to the poor man.  He mutters something into his dirty coat then draws his head out of his turtle’s collar and looks at me.  The J train screeches to a halt, the grimy doors open.  I take a seat opposite the man who sits on the platform bench looking at me.  I return his gaze through the smudged window.  When the doors close and the train pulls out, I am relieved to be away from him. And slightly ashamed.

copyright © 2009 J.B. McCullagh: Rose in Bloom (working title)

This is an excerpt from the beginning of the novel I am currently working on.  Working, in my case, is a rather loosely defined term.  Working includes such things as thinking, dreaming, imagining, letting the characters form in their own way, and of, course,they need to reveal themselves.  Working also includes trying out the scaffolding for these characters, their major conflicts and how the pieces and the people fit together.  Since this is my first serious attempt at novel writing I need to feel my way through, letting the many how to write books continue to gather dust on various desks and bookshelves around my house.

There are countless books on writing, some wonderful, some not so much.  Trouble with some writing books is that you have to read them.  Read them and do exercises.  Get out your pencil and papers, children, because it is time to write a theme.  Yes, Sister, we all say in weary unison. Maybe that's it.  My formal introduction to writing in the first grade was something called Theme writing.  It was all very structured and strict, guidelines had to be followed.  A beginning, a middle and an end must be part of the Theme. Punctuation and spelling mattered.  No one would dare call them stories.  Theme writing was an obstacle course that sifted the wheat from the chaff among the first grade crowd.  If you could endure that and still want to write, congratulations.  Considering I was 5 going on 6 when I started first grade, no wonder I hated it.  The stories I "wrote" before that were games and imaginings I made up for my younger sister and brother.  We would play them out and they would be 'written' as we went along, with surprises and meltdowns popping up just because someone needed a nap or had a wet diaper.  Before I went to school I would practice 'writing' in discarded notebooks of my older sibs, but I just wrote what I wanted using words I could guess at spelling.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that best 'how-to' books on writing are all the novels and works of non-fiction I have hungrily consumed these many years.  I think maybe I'm putting myself back in first grade when I set out to work on my novel by getting all jammed up in the rules.  I've got to figure out a way to shake loose all my well intentioned training and learn to trust the sounds and words that want to be on the page.  We'll see how it goes.

ScratchPaper: Family Gems

I just discovered another blog by a woman I have 'met' through the internet and a mutual friend.  She's got a wonderful site about the gems of family life in the ordinary and the not so ordinary moments.  Several years ago when I  was Director of Family Life Ministry in my parish I had a column where I wrote about the ordinary holiness of family life---- from changing diapers, helping with homework, getting ready for a traditional Thanksgiving or Christmas meal and all the millions of moments that go into making a house a home and a group of people a family. Check out Elaine's Blog: ScratchPaper: Family Gems.

Gathering Chi

Robin Yaklin, a fellow writer and tai chi instructor, has graciously offered to teach a writer's workshop on gathering and directing our energy to pour into our work.  We will come up with the details shortly.  If you are interested in participating in such a workshop, please let us know.  We are in the Dallas area, so I assume that will be a determining factor in your decision. I am excited to start working with Robin and learning how to harness the energy of my life into work.  I hope you will join us.